Drawing comparisons is human nature and it’s something we all find irresistible. At some point or the other, we often find ourselves indulged in comparing two individuals or for that matter anything around.

Even parents tend to compare their kids with each other or with other children. However, comparing kids isn’t a healthy practice. As parents, you will have to understand that each child is unique and each has his own set of skills and abilities.

Comparing kids can hamper your child’s mental growth and even lower his self-esteem. The following points will make it clear as to why comparison isn’t healthy and does more damage than good.

Comparison is hurtful
Parents often find themselves comparing their kids, using it as a yardstick to check if their child is just average or at par with others. They do not realize that they are hampering the growth and mental development of their own child. Many parents unintentionally express their dissatisfaction while comparing him/her to their other child. Even the best parents are bound to do this sometime or another. They praise the skills and physical appearance of one child in front of the other. For instance, a parent can often be heard comparing siblings giving statements as, “Look at your brother, he always tops his class. Why can’t you do it too?” This apparently makes the child think low of himself and his skills. Such situations not only cause a momentary displeasure but also lead to a lifelong emotional ordeal for the child.

Know every child is special
One must realize the fact that every child is special. Not every child may excel in every field, but that does not mean he/she is any less than the other. Your child may not be a topper, but he/ she can be an excellent orator or cricketer. You must acknowledge your child’s abilities and also make him realize that how special they are to you. Trying to weigh all kids on the same scale of success will end up destroying their individual talent and develop an inferiority complex in them. They will feel that they are less loved than their sibling and may become jealous of them.

Respect your child’s individuality
When you make an effort towards accepting your child’s individuality and acknowledging his special skills, you will get to realize your child’s true potentials. As we said in the beginning too, no two individuals can be same. Respect your child for what he is rather than criticizing him for something he can’t be.

Study your child
Parents must also keep this in mind that kids possess a range of skills and abilities that may have nothing to do with your personality or skills. You must simply take pride in their talent. There is no need to either brag about your child’s achievements or undermine them. Identify your child’s personality and describe a situation without making reference to other kids. For example, instead of saying “Why can’t you wear a clean shirt like your brother?” say “Your shirt is dirty, wear a clean one.”

Believe in your child
Your parenting is what affects your child’s development. Encourage the child to do what he does best, and realize that he/she cannot excel in everything he/she does. Often, loving words or a hug can go a long way in motivating a child. The kids will accept themselves better and understand each other if the parents do not compare them. They are themselves conscious about their differences, success and failures. If you want to talk to your child about his/her area of weakness, it will be more effective to do it on a one-to-one basis in an unbiased manner. The more you don’t compare the children, the better it is.

You must understand this very point that your behavior and words have a great impact on your child’s perception about himself. He will respect his skills only if you make him do so. Praise his talents and don’t burden him with unrealistic expectations.