So your little one is now entering school or kindergarten and the toddler years are now past him. It is a time when children get to see a whole new world before them. They are now just starting to experience a variety of things in this big bad world on their own. However this is also a time which can prove to be very critical in the growth as well as development of a child. It is a time when the basic personality of a child is in the process of getting developed.
Small kids are very immature. They do what they see. So if someone uses abusive language in front of them or solves a matter by fights your kid is bound to inculcate some of these habits. Do you often get complaints from your kid’s school that he fights frequently? The first step is that reasons due to which the fights are taking place need to be found out. You should try to make your kid learn ways to avoid fighting and control anger.
It should be kept in mind always that if your kid fights at home or displays negative behaviour in order to deal with situations at home then such a behaviour would not be limited to just his home. Same attitude may be displayed in school as well. If you notice your kid verbally abusing others or displaying fighting skills then you have a major role to play in such a case.
Why do children develop fighting tendencies?
It is very common for children to get involved into fights really fast. A number of children cannot find solutions to social problems and as a result show aggressive behaviour. As children mature they learn to deal with everyday problems but some of them are not able to develop such skills expected at their age.
Avoid provoking your child by asking questions such as why do you have to fight and hit your elder sister? This shows that you are demanding an explanation and he is expected to give a reason. But what the parents really want to convey is that it is bad manners to hit your elder sister or brother. A positive and better alternative needs to be opted instead of putting a ‘why’.
Ways to deal with fighting at home or school
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Try and find out the reason for the fights: When you are acquainted with the fact that your kid was involved in a fight at school the very first thing that you should do as parents is find out exactly what happened.
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Never bombard your kid with questions: After your child comes home, give him some time at least. He should not be attacked immediately with too many questions. Discuss things with him after letting him relax a bit.
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Be direct: Never trap or blame your child while talking. It is not a solution to any issue. It is always better if you have a straightforward and direct conversation with him.
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Hear what your child has to say: Always listen to your child’s side of things as well. Even if he is lying or wrong at least listen once.
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Try not to cut the conversation: As a rule never use words like ‘but’ while having a conversation with your kid as it indicates cutting the conversation down.
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Teach patience to your child: Don’t punish your child instead help him in figuring out better alternatives to improve his coping skills.
Parents play a very crucial role in their child’s growth so that their child acquires proper negotiation and communication skills. Never teach your kid to handle problems using a hammer despite the availability of a variety of sophisticated tools.