Parenting doesn’t follow set rules or come with a handbook. It's quite like an on-the-job training. You learn as you start living the role of being a parent. In the course, all parents, though wanting only the best for the kids, end up making certain mistakes.
These mistakes not just affect their parenting but even hamper a child’s growth. Therefore, it is very important that parents stay aware of the worse parenting mistakes they make?often unintentionally.
Let’s understand these mistakes in detail, have a look:
1. Doing too much for kids
This is one mistake we will find being done by almost all parents. In the quest of making life easy for the kids, parents tend to overdo things. They fulfil all their demands, come up with instant solutions for all of their problems, and do things on their behalf without allowing them to take a stand of their own. This apparently makes your child dependent on you and never lets his inner confidence build up. It’s always better to let kids manage their things and you act as a guide.
2. Forcing on expectations
As parents, you will certainly have some expectations from your kids. But that doesn’t mean you force your expectations and choices on them. If you keep very high expectations, kids will always be under the pressure of performing up to that level of expectation and this will instil a fear of failure in them. It would be good if you can keep the level of expectations a bit low and let kids make their own choices.
3. Not listening enough
As parents, you must ensure to listen to your child’s concern. If you don’t give him an ear, he will never be able to connect with you emotionally. Spending quality time and listening to his thoughts and ideas will help you understand your child in a better way.
4. Comparing & criticizing
Comparing the skills and qualities of your child with other kids will never inspire him. In fact, it will only demean and demoralize him. Also, criticism too is only good if done in a constructive way. You should refrain from comparing or criticizing your kids in a way that can hurt his emotions.
5. Not communicating well
Communication is the key to building successful relations and it stands true for the relation between a parent and child. When you communicate in a healthy way, your child feels motivated and develops trust in you. He will never shy away from confiding in you and his overall development will happen in the right way.
6. Acting like a Servant
The objective of child-rearing is to make them grow into mature and self-reliant individuals. Therefore, it is important that you make them aware of duties and responsibilities right from a young age. They need responsibilities to feel mature and part of the family. This helps them in developing the skills they'll need in future for living on their own. So don’t act as a servant and do everything for them.
7. Consistently Giving In to Your Kids
When you persistently give in to the pressure or demand from your child, it shows that you've given up on your responsibility as parent. You're no longer directing him towards an accountable behavior and effective decision-making. Fulfil demands that are justified; it’s good to say NO for certain things.
8. Not Setting Limits
Be it a grown up adult or a child, limits are essential for everyone. And when a child is growing up, he certainly needs some limits to govern his behaviour. You must understand that limits aren't negatives. They're hopes and behavior guidelines that encourage secure and healthy growth.
9. Failing to Stretch Limits
You set rules for kids to keep them in discipline, but forget that rules too need some flexibility. As kids mature, they will need more space, a right to make choices and own decisions. Therefore, you will have to ensure that the limits you have made for them can be stretched to accommodate their growing needs.
10. Not Following Through
You may have set right set of limits, but if you fail to lay stress on the consequences of not abiding by those limits; all your efforts would go futile. At some point, kids will experiment with you to know how stern you are about those limits. That's why; you must establish and evidently communicate the outcome of breaking those rules.
Your parenting will never go wrong, if you can avoid these mistakes and handle things in the right manner!