The relationship a man shares as a father with his son is totally different from what he shares with his daughter. With daughters, dads tend to have a soft corner and they always make efforts to protect and guard them. When it comes to sons, fathers treat them as their own reflection and see their own self in them.
However, they seldom express the same to their sons which makes their relation follow a path of silence where no one expresses out the true feelings. A father-son’s relation should be way deeper and it can only happen if it’s nurtured the right way.
What a father and son bond should really be like?
1. You can hug your son, no matter how old he is
Physical affection towards kids shouldn’t be restrained to particular age limit. They are your kids and will remain so forever and physical affection always works in making the bond of love stronger. Hug your son, no matter whether he is in pre-school or is a handsome teenager. You need to show him affection that will always make him feel closer and connected to you.
2. Sharing emotions strengthens the bond
Don’t hide those emotions, share them with each other. Express what you feel and get to know what your son thinks about it. Whether you are sharing your fear or something that makes you extremely happy or even something that gets onto your nerves, talk about it with your son. How well do you really know your son or father? The key thing is to understand each other better through this and having soulful conversations are a great way to start it.
3. A little vulnerability is completely okay
Men don’t have to hide behind the mask of being invincible. We all have our set of fears and apprehensions. It’s okay if we let others know of our vulnerability. If you express your vulnerability, your son will also feel confident to share his fears with you without holding back because of any judgment on his masculinity.
4. There has to be complete involvement from both ends
You need to involve yourself in your son’s life and know what is happening in his life. Similarly, your son should be given the chance to know you as a person. He should know you completely and there shouldn’t be anything about you that might come as a surprise to him.
5. You must be a good listener
To keep the communication line open, you will first have to be the listener. You must listen to your son, understand his thoughts and give him the right solution or advice. Always be willing to listen to your son.
6. Discipline your son through love, not by punishment
You are his guide, philosopher and friend! It’s your duty to set him on the right path if he might stray. You will have to let him learn from his mistakes but not in an aggressive manner. Through love and affection, hurdles can be easily resolved without any negative impact, either on the child or the relationship.
7. Respect his choices
You will have to respect his identity as an individual and consider his thoughts as well as choices. Don’t be judgmental or load him with criticism. Understand his choices and support his justified decisions.
8. You should know what all you share in common
He is your son and he has your genes too, but it’s not necessary that he will have the same interests as you or the same demeanor. He might be completely different! Instead of pointing out the differences you share, focus on the things that you share in common like fondness for cricket or any other habit.
9. You have to teach him to be a responsible adult
He will grow up observing you and your mannerism. If you want him to be a responsible adult, you need to model the same behavior. You will have to show him that a true gentleman respects a woman, no matter who she is. A true gentleman will always stand by the right things and never shy away from having an opinion of his own or speaking out his mind.
10. Spending quality time is more precious than expensive presents
As he grows up, he may not really remember all the expensive gifts you bought for him. But he will always remember the times when you took him out for some fun trips, when you took him on a shoulder ride or when the two of you played some fun games. It’s all about the quality time you will spend with him, not just the costly presents you would shower on him.
11. You need to be positive
Last but not the least of all, you have to teach him to develop a positive perspective. You will need to fill positivity in his life through your genuine actions and words. This is when his life will shape up in the right manner.
You will always stay closer to your son and be his friend forever if only you take the right steps towards strengthening this wonderful bond!