Punishment is always considered synonymous to discipline. Most parents feel that when kids make mistakes, punishment is the best way of disciplining them.
Parents often punish their kids by physically hurting them, yelling or shouting at them or by criticizing them before all. As parents you may feel that these punishment modes work great but in real they end up hampering your child’s growth and development.
A child who is subjected to physical punishment or verbal abuse develops behavioral disorders. He will turn into a fearful and timid person with lack of self-confidence or tend to be highly aggressive and rebellious. Both ways, you can see that punishment certainly does no good.
You may ask as to how can a child be made to realize his mistake and taught a lesson without actually hurting him in any way.
Well, you can certainly discipline your child using punishment only if you opt for some constructive ones. Punishment is all about making the child know that he has done something which isn’t acceptable and he should never repeat it again. And to make him realize so, you don’t necessarily need to use a cane.
Here check out the 8 secrets to constructive punishment as vouched by wise parents.
1. Let them face natural consequence
For any mistake your child makes, there apparently will be a natural consequence. For instance, if he breaks a toy then he will no more have that particular toy to play with. Similarly, if he picks up a fight with his sibling or friend or hurt him; he may have no one to play around. These are the natural consequences of the mistakes so made and a child must be made to experience them so that he gets to know what he did was certainly not right. But yeah, if the consequence can be harmful, make sure you act timely.
2. Plan logical consequence
If the natural consequence fails to work in some cases, you can always design some logical consequences. This is the best way of reprimanding the child without really hurting him physically or emotionally. If your child breaks any item in the house due to his negligence or fails to complete his homework owing to his carelessness, think of consequences that your child would never like to face again. For instance, if he fails to do his homework on time, don’t let him play with his friends for a week. If he picks up a fight with his brother or sister, make him do some tasks along with his siblings.
3. Design constructive penalty
Penalizing your child in a constructive way for his bad behavior is also a great way of making him repent on his mistakes. You can ask him to do certain tasks at homelike watering the plants, tidying his room as well as his siblings’ (if any), helping you in the kitchen or if the child is old enough, you can ask him to cook some quick meal too.
4. Timeout
Another effective way of punishing your child is using timeouts. Send your child in recluse for some time. Well, not to any lonely place or something; just to his room. Let him stay alone for a while. But before sending him away, do make sure that you speak to him about the whole incident and show him what his mistake was. You will have to do it in a polite manner.
5. Scold but constructively
When a child makes a mistake, you are bound to get angry and it’s quite natural. And if you feel like scolding him, you can always do that. However; you will have to watch your tone as well as the words. Most parents when scolding a child get too rough and unkind. They use negative sentences as ‘you are a bad boy’, ‘I’m so ashamed of you’, ‘you are good for nothing’ and a lot more. Such sentences leave a negative impact on your child and he may even develop hatred towards you. When scolding a child on his mistake, make him realize that it’s his action that has upset you not him. You should frame your sentences as, ‘what made you react this way’, or ‘why you did it’. This way you will get to know what made your child to make a particular mistake. Keep your tone firm but polite.
6. Assign a task
Another effective way can be assigning some random task to your child. In exchange of the mistake he makes, you can always ask him to write a letter to everyone in the family and apologize for his behavior, help every member in the family for a week or so. Think of tasks that are not very demanding but can be worth teaching a lesson.
7. Take away the privileges
Taking away the privileges or asking them to part away from their favorite things can also be a great punishable act. You can deprive them from watching their favorite TV show for a certain period of time, or make him share his favorite game or toy with his sibling. The child should always remember that if he makes any mistake or breaks the rule he may have to lose his favorite things.
8. Cut down game time
No child would like to be refrained from enjoying his game time. So this can be one best way of punishing them without hurting. Engage them in some other activity during that hour, though they will not do it willingly but for the next time, they will ensure that they don’t make any mistake.
Punishments can indeed play a very vital role in disciplining the child provided you implement them wisely. Do remember you were once kids too and how you behave with your kids is setting an example.