The word step parent immediately conjures up Snow White or Cinderella-like stepmothers in our minds! But so much has changed over the years, step parents are no longer what they were thought to be. With the percentage of remarriages increasing, it is common to get into relationships where there are children from the past marriage, or even if the step parent comes into the marriage without any children from his marriage, children in the new relationship can lead to a very fulfilling and satisfying experience for the step parent.

Before you get into the groove of handling your role as a step parent, certain things should be made very clear at the onset - a few ground rules must be established, doubts must be cleared and a framework of responsibilities should be laid down. This will make it easier for the step parent and the biological parent to initiate the smooth relationship between step parent and child.
 

• What is of crucial importance is your supporting your partner or spouse in every way. If both of you talk at tangents or behave contradicting each other, it could lead to a lot of problems and emotional upheavals. Beware, you might just end up getting resented by the family, especially when it comes to disciplining your step children. If they are teenagers, then the situation could be even more challenging. So go into the whole experience understanding where your spouse stands with his or her children. This will ease many knotty problems.
   
• There are certain boundaries or demarcations that exist unseen, in families, between adult and adult, adult and children. Respect this fact and establish these lines clearly at the very onset. Your step child or children owe you the respect that is expected towards a parent.
   
• Do not hurry or get impatient. Hurrying the relationship between yourself and your step children is like hurrying  a plant to sprout fruit instantly- things need time, effort and lots and lots of patience. Building bridges does take a long while, doesn’t it? Do not feel frustrated if the beginning goes badly. Be prepared for a lot of spade work before you can even begin to expect  your step children to respond satisfactorily towards you.
   
• If you too have come into the new family with your children, do not allow prejudices between both groups of children to affect your mental well-being. Instead, point out and lay down exactly what it is that you expect from your spouse and step children as to how your child or children should be treated. Be clear, concise and pragmatic. Learn to look at the bigger picture, instead of nursing grievances or self-inducing pain or misery.
   

Starting slow is always a good option. Do not rush for results , instead, wait for the relationship to progress in a definite direction. If you are clear as to where you want to go, you will get there, eventually! While there is no exact formula for building a phenomenal family, patience, compassion, love and lots of common sense surely almost work, most of the time!