Like so many other things in life, children need to be taught some ground rules, when it comes to playing with others. Though most kids like to play in a group, they have to be gently guided into the rules of playing as a team. Here are some simple tips that you can use to guide your child- this will help him or her to learn that playing within the framework of rules can actually be fun!

1. Walk the talk! : Children learn from what they see, so if you demonstrate proper behavior, they will imbibe it too! Your child may never have had the need to share her toys before, if she does not have siblings, so it rests on you to show her how to share her stuff- from toys to clothes to her favorite things. Children follow their role models, so next time you play with her, show her how to share her toys or books with you. Next time she goes out to her friend’s place, she has already learnt the value of sharing! Be what you want your child to be!

2. Repetition helps! : Keep reminding your child about the rules often! This works as a memory guide- if your child gets into an unpleasant situation with his friends, draw him aside and gently goad him into remembering what you had told him- remind him that the rules of sharing and fair play have to be put into action, and now is the time! If you sense stubbornness, tell him the play dates may have to be canceled, or postponed, till he senses what he did was not right!

3. First steps are small steps!: Start with a small play date with your child’s friends- let them play for half an hour, and watch if your child is following the rules. If you feel he is comfortable, you can increase the play hours with his friends. See if he is playing by the rules.

4. Lay down the rules of the game!: Children thrive where there is consistency, so when you set some rules, make sure that they are the same rules that have to be followed both at home or outside it. This will make it easier for your child as he or she knows what exactly has to be done, all the time. Do not keep changing your statements. This will only confuse your child. Rules are better enforced when you are clear about them yourself. Use your inner wisdom to identify what exactly you want your child to do.

5. Teach, teach, teach!: Your child may have never got the chance to play with others, so you will have to first teach her manners, the art of asking from others in a polite manner, and above all, treat others with the utmost respect. If you sense any aggressive behavior in your child when she is playing with friends, tell her that she has to treat them with the same kind of politeness that she uses for adults. 

Like adults, children too go through stress at play! In their anxiety to please their parents and teachers, they sometimes overly stretch themselves to win at games, just to gain the approval of adults or peers. This is what is called Negative stress builders- make sure your child does not play with his friends with the ambition to win always. Teach him gently that winning is not everything, losing is a part of the game and it should not stress him out. 

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IS STRESSED!

Here are some simple exercises to get your little one into the groove once again!:

1. Breathing in deep motion: Teach him to sit in a quiet place, where he will not be disturbed. He should then breathe in slowly and in deep fashion, pulling in air into his chest. He should hold the breath for some time- 5 to 8 seconds and then exhale slowly.

2. Happy sights: Teach him to imagine some beautiful sights- like a beach, or the sunrise on a mountain. He can then find his negative energies slowly going away.

3. Tense and relax: He can tense some muscles in his body and then slowly relax them. Ask him to try this exercise on various parts of the body. 

Play in any form can prove to be a great teacher for your child. The main objective of any kind of play or game or sport is to have fun- you can be a great source of guidance for your child- he can realize early that winning or losing is just a part of the game- life is after all a sport, and when he is at it, it is fun to keep some ground rules in mind!