A self reliant kid is one who relies on his own powers and resources rather than those of others. He is an independent learner and explores the world around him with confidence. Such kids act responsibly and grow up to be good leaders.
On the playground, you see Riya a 4 yr old, going towards a swing set. However, when she reaches there she sees that it is occupied. She goes around playing on the slide and then comes back to the swing later. Gaurav, another 4 yr old, goes to his mother and cries to get a seat on the swings when he sees that they are occupied.
How can you instill this sense of self-reliance, as seen in Riya, in your kids? Here are some tips;
1. Begin with the simple tasks: As they grow up, encourage them to start trying to do simple things on their own. Maybe your kids can brush their teeth on their own, or dress up on their own, encourage these simple tasks and be appreciative of their efforts. This will help build their confidence.
2. Be time-specific: Once they start doing these tasks on their own, start giving them a few time-specific goals. It’s advisable if you let them do this on their own. But you can surely help. This will help them plan and schedule their tasks around what they can achieve and reaffirm their confidence in those tasks.
3. Let them do the planning: If your kids can estimate how much time they would take to finish a certain task, they will be able to plan better. Be supportive and give your inputs as and when required. Don’t hover over them and give them orders. Allow them the freedom to make their own choices.
4. Give them more free time: Play is a form of research. And kids are explorers, learning the most form their environment. Let them engage in free play, where they have their own rules and their own imaginative world. You can be the silent observer during these periods. Talk about their play time later and get involved in their stories.
5. Give them responsibility: Always begin with the small. Encourage them to take responsibility for their belongings or possessions. Extend this responsibility towards their school work. Make sure they take accountability for their work and duties.
6. Don’t do spoon feeding: If your kids are used to being spoon fed, whether it is doing that difficult math problem, or helping them when they are stuck, they will never learn to look for answers on their own. This will make them dependent on you in areas you know they are capable of tackling on their own, but you don’t because you want to protect them.
7. Trust them: Let your kids make mistakes. And let those mistakes be a learning lesson for them. Parents must trust their kids to make the right decisions and guide them if they are sidetracked.
8. Inspire good relationships and friendships: The main purpose of making kids self reliant is to make them independent thinkers but not isolated individuals. Good peer and adult interactions should be encouraged. Friendships help develop positive self-images, care and empathy towards others.
9. Don’t force your kids: The point of raising self reliant kids is to let them make their own decisions. If they don’t like going for the swimming class, don’t force it on them. Ask them the reason for their dislike towards it. Persuade them to try at least a few classes before they make up their mind and then let them choose. Kids need some reasoning and convincing sometimes.
10. Praise their efforts: Make evident appreciation of their efforts and successes. It is an excellent motivator.
Children will always look up to you for guidance, but it is your job as a parent to prepare them for the real world, that they shall face on their own someday.