Shyness is a mental condition that almost all the children may experience in one time or other. However, there are some children who experience shyness to an alarming degree. The shy children usually are more keen to observe their playmates rather than participating or joining others. They prefer to keep silent, especially when they are in an unfamiliar environment. They refuse to talk to others. If your preschooler is shy about mixing with other children of your age group, you should take care to counsel him so that he can get over this habitual inhibition. You should be careful much before you plan to admit in a school, because, a shy child will be reluctant to enter a new surrounding like a classroom, unless he is escorted by a parent. In the school, shy children may face many difficulties as they will be reluctant to join group activities like dancing, singing or playing. The presence of any unfamiliar individual will make them withdraw in to themselves or they may just stare at the ground.

Doctors can not say for certain why a child may display shyness, while his sibling may be of just the opposite nature. Sometimes the causes of the shyness in your preschooler may be hereditary or genetic. Sometimes it may be due to a lack of sufficient bonding with the parent. The child may be suffering from a sense of insecurity. Or if it happens to be the case that the child is frequently exposed to criticism and harsh behavior from the siblings or parents, then he may display shyness and an withdrawn nature. Shy children are scared to a great extent about other’s opinion about them.
 

Whatever be the reason, shyness in your preschooler may create many problems for her as she goes to the school. She will have fewer friends and will always keep away from things that will take her to the top. Her class teacher may report to you that your child shuns the school sports, debate and drama. She may feel lonely and may deny going to the school.
 

Tackling the problem of shyness in your preschooler

Many strategies are suggested to help your child overcome her shyness. However, children are not all alike. What works for one may not be working for another.

• Be sympathetic to your child when she feels shy to talk to others. This is very important. Do not scold her for her shyness. That will make her all the more shy. Encourage her to interact with people by all means, but do so mildly. Assure her that she will overcome this feeling of shyness or fear over time. She will feel that you accept and understand her.
• Assure her that there is nothing to fear to interact friendly with people. Explain to your child that she will do better by being more brave and outgoing. Point out the positive sides of it, like making more friends, having more fun, being popular and being able to help others.
• Elucidate with your own example. Tell your children of the events when you too behaved like her and how you eventually came out of shyness. Parents are often role models to their children and when they set an example, children are often prone to imitate their parents. You may tell your child about your childhood, your shortcomings and how you got over that. This will encourage her to shake off her limitations.
• Never label her as ‘shy’. Parents often fall in their self-created trap of describing their child as ‘shy’, in front of her, when they talk to the friends or relatives. You should never tell others that your child is shy, in front of her. Your child may already be feeling bad about being shy. That would undermine her confidence further. If by repeated labeling her confidence goes down, they will eventually suffer from a lower self esteem, and that will add to their shyness.
• If other people, friends, relatives or teachers label your child as shy, disagree in a friendly manner. You may say that your child is a bit cautious and takes some time to warm up. You may also add that she is quite social and outgoing when she knows somebody well.
• If your child refuses to interact with others what should you do? Set an example to her by striking up a conversation yourself. Mildly persuade her to join you in the conversation. She may respond well to that. If not, go on with your conversation. She will eventually learn the art of conversation.
• Encourage her braveness and praise her when for the first time you notice any improvement in her shyness.
• Encourage her to make many friends and be polite and gracious to her friends.
• Invite friends and relatives often to your house. Go for a walk in the neighbourhood accompanied by your child. Have a conversation with your neighbours. Children will notice your gesture and interacting with more and more people will help them overcome their shyness.
• Talk with the children of the same age of your child. Invite him to play with your child. Encourage your child to play with the sisters and brothers in the neighbourhood. If your child is initially, a little hesitant, do not worry. Just encourage her, sometimes you yourself joining them in their play. If your child does not like this, do not be harsh to her. Do not allow anybody to tease her. Just deal with the situation with sympathy, love and patience.
• Give your preschooler enough exposure to unfamiliar environments by taking her to the local parks and playgrounds, where she may be allowed to interact with children of her age, while you being a silent observer.  Her shyness will decrease with repeated encounter with unfamiliar circumstances.
• Teach her to say ‘hello’ to the strangers and ‘Thank you’ to anybody who offers her something. This conversation as little as it may be will reduce her shyness as it is bound to trigger a smile in the person she greets in this way.
   

However, parents should be cautious that they do not push their children so hard as to develop a resistance in their mind. Patience and perseverance is the key to success in dealing with a shy child.